Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
