Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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