Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
