he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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