She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
porn star boner night. come get it.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
