currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
