you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
