If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We talked him into tasing himself.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
