if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
