he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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