Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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