my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
