Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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