i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
