I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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