i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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