dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
