That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
