VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
