Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
