sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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