if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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