I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
