I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
