I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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