I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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