does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
