I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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