I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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