Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
