Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
