She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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