my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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