i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
