I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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