do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
