I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
