Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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