Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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