I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
