Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
