how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
