Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
