Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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