im having a threesome with these popsicles
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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