Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
