we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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