Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
