pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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