i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
